I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize