week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize