you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
