The brown eye won't let me do that either.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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