I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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