I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
