You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have tasted many bathrooms
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
