jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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