I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
