you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
