Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
