your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
