I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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