Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
