I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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