did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Even my vagina gasped.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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