so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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