white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
this boner is exhausting
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
