dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
