the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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