She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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