she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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