I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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