I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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