11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
