Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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