he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
