you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize