reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
