The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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