Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Boobs speak an international language.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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