she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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