i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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