i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
