you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize