seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
