I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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