Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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