I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
