He disabled his match.com account in front of me
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
