:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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