my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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