You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
