dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize