Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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