Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
