just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
