Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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