In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
