Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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