i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
