i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
