just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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