i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
