My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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