Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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