hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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