writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
