youre lurking in front of me
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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