i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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