I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years