just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.