Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize