Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
