I want to walk on stilts...naked
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
