rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
