her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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