There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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