At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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