five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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